\u201cMommy, Aunt Elena is looking at me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Monica froze. Darius whipped around toward the casket. I shut my eyes just in time and held my breath until my lungs burned.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDon\u2019t say such silly things, Nico,\u201d she whispered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShe is looking at me,\u201d the boy insisted. \u201cIt\u2019s open right here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I felt his little finger pointing right at the crack. There was a silence so heavy that even my mother stopped praying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cKids say the darndest things\u2026\u201d Darius muttered, but his voice came out shaky.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I heard their footsteps approaching. Every click of Monica\u2019s heels against the floor was like a hammer in my head. The smell of the candle wax and the sweet perfume made my stomach churn. I forced myself to stay still, even though a sharp pang in my chest urged me to sit up and claw at both of them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The lid creaked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A hand pushed it slightly. More light flooded through the crack. I kept my eyes closed, praying for the first time in years that they wouldn\u2019t notice my eyelashes trembling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cSee?\u201d Monica said, closer now, her breath on my face. \u201cShe\u2019s just the same.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Same. As if I were already an object.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI told you,\u201d Darius replied. \u201cCalm down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then he touched my neck. He was checking to make sure the chain was gone. That touch ignited a fury so vivid it nearly gave me away. I wanted to bite his fingers. I wanted to open my eyes and watch him choke on his \u201cperfect widower\u201d act.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
But I held back. Because if they were capable of drugging me, holding a wake for me while I was alive, and planning to collect my insurance, they were capable of finishing the job right then and there.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My mom started praying again, louder, almost shouting the rosary mysteries, and someone in the room asked for coffee. A dog barked outside. Life went on as if nothing were happening while I learned, lying in my own casket, that a person can be killed before they are even buried.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Darius lowered his voice. \u201cTonight they\u2019re taking her straight to the funeral home, and then to the cemetery tomorrow morning. Just hold on for a few more hours and that\u2019s it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI don\u2019t want to go,\u201d Monica said. \u201cI can\u2019t watch when they lower her in.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWell, you better learn,\u201d he snapped. \u201cWe\u2019ve already done the worst part.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The worst part. I grit my teeth so hard I felt blood in my gums.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nico was still there. I knew because I could smell his strawberry lollipop. Then, very softly, as if he were talking to me and not them, he said: \u201cAuntie, if you\u2019re alive, blink.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
It nearly broke me. That child was the only clean thing in that entire rotten room. I wanted to do it. I wanted to open an eye and ask him for help. But before I could decide, I felt another presence approaching.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My mother. Mothers recognize even the strange silences.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She dragged a chair over to the casket and sighed as if she had been tired for a thousand years. Then, in a low voice\u2014not the voice of a mourner, but that of a cornered woman\u2014she said: \u201cThat\u2019s enough, Darius.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
My soul stopped cold.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cMa\u2019am, don\u2019t start,\u201d he replied.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t want this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The whole room went silent. Even Nico stopped sucking on his lollipop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cI didn\u2019t want this,\u201d my mother repeated, now crying for real. \u201cYou said she was just going to sleep, that they were going to admit her, make it look like a breakdown, and then everything would be fixed. You didn\u2019t say you were going to put her in a casket.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The world flipped inside my head. My mother. My own mother knew.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Monica began to sob.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cWe can\u2019t take anything back now,\u201d Darius said coldly. \u201cIf you open your mouth, you go down with us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cShe\u2019s my daughter,\u201d my mother whispered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cAnd you signed too,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
She signed. I felt nausea, rage, a shame so brutal it burned me more than the poison in the milk. My mother\u2014the one who had done my hair for graduation, the one who called me \u201cmy baby\u201d\u2014had signed my death warrant like someone authorizing a simple surgery.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The chair creaked. I heard the thud of her hands against the wood of the casket. \u201cForgive me, Elena,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
That was the first time I opened my eyes. Not much. Just enough to look, through the crack, into one of hers. My mother recoiled with a gasp. Our eyes met.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I\u2019ll never forget the look on her face. It wasn\u2019t relief. It wasn\u2019t love. It was terror. Pure terror.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDarius\u2026\u201d she gasped.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
He turned around. I didn\u2019t hold back anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I jammed my fingers into the opening, pushed with all the strength I had left, and the casket lid flew open, knocking a candle to the floor. My portrait fell off the table. Someone screamed. My Aunt Linda dropped her rosary as if she\u2019d seen the devil.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
I sat halfway up, coughing, my dress clinging to my body and my hair stiff with sweat.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Monica was the first to recoil. Her hands went to her neck. My chain shimmered there, against her skin.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cGive it back,\u201d I told her, but my voice came out broken, hollow, worse than a ghost\u2019s.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Nico started to cry. My mother fell to her knees. And Darius\u2026 Darius didn\u2019t move. He just looked at me with a coldness that made me realize his fear had vanished very quickly.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cDamn it,\u201d he muttered.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Then he reached inside his jacket. He pulled out something I couldn\u2019t quite see. But I did see Monica\u2019s face contort as she screamed:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u201cNo, not here!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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